We start this post with a quotation from our dear old friend, JavaScript Hater.

JavaScript?

Yeah, it’s great. I just love writing a big ol’ pile of Spaghetti Code.

Now, before we rush out and buy this T-shirt for him, let’s recognize that Hater has a point. There is no programming language that allows you to go from Zero to Incomprehensible quite like JavaScript (Ok fine, we’ll throw in Perl too). In academic terms, Hater is referring to a lack of cohesion…

Here’s the Enterprise Developer’s typical introduction to JavaScript:

• Developer is assigned a task that requires JavaScript. Developer already knows Java and decides that this is more than enough background to dig into JavaScript.
• Developer searches for a code snippet that performs the desired task.
• Developer finds code snippet and understands 60% of it. Developer does not care about the 40% that looks weird. Developer copies snippet and pastes it into their web page.
• Code snippet doesn’t work. Or worse, code snippet only works in Firefox.
• Developer hacks on snippet for an hour.
• Developer may or may not ultimately succeed. Either way, Developer dismisses JavaScript as a steaming pile of turds.

Sound familiar?